


Speculative Operations

by Decepticonsensual



Series: The World Is Not Enough (Tales from Autobot Spec Ops) [4]
Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-07 10:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7711729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decepticonsensual/pseuds/Decepticonsensual
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of Tumblr-based AU snippets about Autobot Special Operations.  What if Agent 113 weren't the only Autobot spy in the DJD - in fact, what if it turned out that EVERY member of the DJD was an Autobot in disguise?  Or what if Quark survived and went on to join Spec Ops alongside Skids?  It's Elseworlds, Spec-Ops-style - because nothing these gloriously dysfunctional superspies do is ever ordinary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Terrible Success - The "DJD All Turn Out To Be Autobot Agents" AU

**Author's Note:**

> My deepest thanks to everyone on Tumblr (many of you anonymous) who's contributed to a fantastic, ongoing coversation about Spec Ops and all the possibilities surrounding it. You've asked questions, proposed ideas, and just generally come out to play in this sandbox with me, and none of what follows would have been possible without you. Where a ficlet was sparked by a particular ask, I've tried to include that ask or part of it, to give credit where credit is due; however, most of these asks were anonymous, so if you sent one and you'd like to be recognised by name, please let me know.
> 
> The anonymous ask that inspired this chapter was:
> 
> "Anonymous asked: For the Autobot agents DJD au, I love imagining Prowl calling his agents and giving them this speech on the Peaceful Tyranny, "You are all very skilled in your own ways and hard working, I care about each of you deeply. But let's face it. Your all terrible at your jobs. I'd fire you all if I could. Keep up the good work...Bye." ah, yes, Prowl is the best and most supportive boss to ever boss."

A profound silence settles over the bridge of the _Peaceful Tyranny_ as Prowl’s image vanishes from the screen.

“Waiiiiiit…” Helex says, drawing the word out as if, the longer he can prolong it, the longer he can go without having to face the rest of the sentence.  “Did he just say… _all_ of us?  So you’re… we’re all…”

“Autobots,” Tesarus says, swallowing.

There’s a pause.

“Oh my Primus we are _such bad spies,”_ Kaon wails.

“No, no, come on,” Tesarus says, fluttering all of his hands.  “You heard him!  He says he cares about us!”

“He also said we’re terrible at our jobs!”

Vos spits out a string of Primal Vernacular, and then stops, covers his optics with his hand, and says in perfect Neocybex, “Well, the mech has a point - if we were even halfway decent, we’d have figured each other out before this.”

Tarn, who’s been silent up to this point, whirls around and pins Vos with a glare.  “I learned Primal Vernacular for you, you _utter bastard.”_

“Maybe this means we’re actually good spies, since, you know, none of us got caught, even by other spies…?”  Helex doesn’t sound terribly convinced himself.

“Well… not exactly _none_ of us,” Tesarus points out.

“The Pet,” Tarn grits out between his dentae.

Kaon starts.  “The PET!  Oh, holy mother of slag!”  With a muffled little sound of anguish, he goes sprinting out of the room.

“I…” Tarn pronounces solemnly, “am going to get obscenely drunk.”

It’s at that point that they hear an enraged voice piping up from about floor level.  “HEY!” Nickel says.  “What the frag do you mean, _y_ _ou’re Autobots_?”


	2. The Adventures of Agent Q - The Spy!Quark AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He's suave. He's cunning. His energon tastes funny.
> 
> Meet Secret Agent Quark, survivor of Grindcore and pride of Spec Ops - well, kind of. (Now with bonus "Spec Ops In Therapy"!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one started with the following anonymous ask:
> 
> "What do you think of an AU where Quark survived Grindcore and ended up in the Spec Ops along with Skids? Of course he would still be presumed dead the same way Skids was."
> 
> Building on that, the second snippet presumes that EVERY member of Spec Ops who died in canon actually survived or came back - and they're finally getting some sorely needed help. That is, if their therapist doesn't strangle them first.
> 
> (I owe the idea for the "how do we know you're not a spy?" joke to another Anon, by the way, though I adapted it slightly - thank you very much!)

 

_Spy!Quark AU_

 

“Oooh, so you’re going to a fancy party to seduce their commander, are you, Skids?  Must be nice for SOME.”

“Come on, Quark, you get to relax and feed me information from your nice, safe surveillance post, while I’m the one in a room full of enemy soldiers.  Besides, I need you in position afterwards to help me make a quick getaway.”

“Hmmm?  What was that, sport?”

“Nothing, Getaway, sorry.  Hey, Quark - if I bring you back a napkin full of hors d’oeuvres, will that soothe your feelings?”

“I _suppose.”_

“Courtesy of the evil _Reception-cons.”_

 _“…_ you’re never letting me live the Recepticons thing down, are you.”

 

***  
  
  


_The "Everyone Lives" AU_

 

“The thing is, Getaway… when you leave me to die horribly at the hands of the DJD, I feel hurt and unloved.”

“Well, Skids, *I* feel hurt and unloved when you turn into a Decepticon-loving traitor!”

“Now, Getaway, we discussed how that is not an appropriate use of ‘I’ statements, didn’t we?”

“… yes, Eyebrows.”

“Hey, Getalife!  He has a _name,_ you know.”

“Oh, really, Shock? Tell me – what _is_ that name?”

“It’s… Ring. Definitely Ring.”

“PRIMUS ABOVE WE HAVE BEEN HAVING SESSIONS FOR EIGHT WEEKS –” *deep breath* “All right, I apologise, that was not an acceptable tone for a therapist to take.”  

“You know, Rung, if it would make you feel better, there is one bar where _everyone_ knows your name.”

“Not the time for a sales pitch for Visages, Mirage!”

“It’s ‘Visages’, actually. With quotation marks.”

“How did you know whether I… Never mind.  Now, it seems that Skids and Getaway have made good progress in using their words today! And Getaway, I want to say that I very much appreciate that you haven’t tried to escape the session once to – oh. He’s snuck out, hasn’t he?  Very well.   Quark, would you like to add anything here?”

“Well, to be entirely frank, Rung, I still don’t know if we can trust you.  You’re still just too innocuous-looking to be real.  How do we know you’re not a spy?”

“How do I know _you’re_ not a spy?”

“… I am a spy.  We all are.”

“Well, there you are, then.”

“But –”

“Dominus!  Perhaps you could tell us a bit about how your recovery is coming along.”

“Oh, fine, fine, thank you, Rung.  It’s slow going, of course, reversing the domestication process, but I try to take these things philosophically.”

“That seems very healthy, Dominus.  Now, if we –”

“Of course, some people might be bitter about returning to find that their own brother had never gone looking for them when they disappeared, and was less than completely happy to have them back.  Some people. Not me.”

“Dominus, is there something that you –”

“And then there’s the lovely experience of receiving regular mnemosurgerical therapy from the mech my husband married while I was being dragged around on a leash by a group of murderous Decepticons.  I mean, amusing coincidence, isn’t it?  SO droll!”

“Dominus…”

“But I’m not bitter! Not in the least!  Not even about the fact that _the head of Spec Ops didn’t lift a finger to rescue me!”_

“Well, now, it’s important to raise these issues, and thank you, Dominus, for expressing your feelings so honestly.  Prowl? Would you like to contribute anything, after what Dominus has just said?”

“… Yes.  When exactly did we re-licence you as a therapist, anyway, Rung?”

“Aaaand it seems Prowl has chosen to use his contribution to be a snide aft-hat.”

“You banned me from flipping over the table after the first session, Rung.  I need _some_ outlet.”

“Well, since you asked, my licence was renewed by Autobot High Command, and re-issued to me along with the order to start this therapy group.  Well, I say ‘to start this therapy group’, I believe the Prime’s exact words were… let me dig it out, here… ah, yes, ‘please for the love of Primus just lock them in a room and make them talk to each other until they are less of a train wreck thank’.  I think the grammar there really speaks to how far you collectively managed to push our leader, by the way.”

“He’s right, you guys. You really do need to shape up and stop almost killing each other and/or the entire universe – Prime’s at the end of his rope.”

“Thank you for that affirmation, Jazz.”

“You’re welcome, Rung.”

“Now kindly get out of my ceiling vents.”


	3. Most. Awkward. Quest. Ever. - The Prowl-On-The-Lost-Light AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Megatron's not the only passenger aboard the Lost Light who's less than thrilled to be there. After the events of Dark Cybertron, Prowl also finds himself stuck on board the S.S. Emotional Trainwreck. Luckily for Prowl, friendship has found him in this most unlikely of places. Unluckily for friendship, Prowl isn't going to let it take him without a fight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: While this chapter is pretty light, it does touch on issues of emotional manipulation and control, related to the Getaway-Tailgate arc in MTMTE Season 2. If you found that arc uncomfortable reading, you may want to tread lightly here.
> 
> This chapter was inspired by a discussion on my blog of what would happen should Prowl end up on the Lost Light in Season 2, and the following anonymous ask:
> 
> "I have a feeling if Prowl were on the LL for season 2 it would probably turn into " More Than Meets The Eye--More Like the Adventures of Prowl in Space on a Ship full of People that Don't Like Him!" the story takes place with Prowl trying his hardest to simply stay locked in his room for long periods of the journey to avoid everyone especially his ex-boyfriend and then Tailgate gets curious and attempts friendship! Prowl responds "ARE YOU ATTEMPTING TO KNOW ME?" then Skids and Getaway drama."

Prowl waited a few minutes longer, then peeked out through the door monitor again.

The tiny blue-and-white mech hadn’t moved.  Still the same stance; still the same pleading optics; still the same tray of energon goodies held high, as if in entreaty.

“ _Getaway,”_ Prowl hissed over his comm.

“Yeah, boss?”  There was always something faintly reassuring about Getaway’s prompt, steady voice in his audio, and never more so than now, since he’d joined the _Lost Light._ Prowl knew he was leaning too much on his operative, but Getaway was the only one onboard he could trust; even Skids had become weirdly skittish and stubborn since his most recent memory erasure (well, since erasing his memory and then ending up with this gang of reprobates, at least).

“He’s back!”

“Told you, boss, he’s fine.  He just wants to be friends is all.”

Prowl’s skeptical frown was so heavy that Getaway could probably feel it pressing down on him from across the ship.

“I know, I know he looks like too much of a marshmallow to be real, but trust me.  I checked this one out when I was trying to turn him.”

Prowl relented a little.  “The food he’s brought me does look too blatantly suspicious to actually be poisoned.”  The icing was _glopping_ down the sides of the goodies in a disturbing way.

“Probably homemade.  I’m telling you, 100% marshmallow.”

“Your… cultivation plan for this one.  Is it still active?”

Getaway sounded momentarily confused.  “I thought we were shelving Operation You-Know-What since you came onboard?  People’d get too suspicious, you said.”

“We’re shelving it for now.  But an asset is an asset, Getaway.  Prowl out.”  A hint of a smile flickered across Prowl’s lips.  Then he composed his features into a mask of confusion and vulnerability, and opened the door.  “Hello?”

“Hi!”  Tailgate’s visor beamed up at him.  “I thought, well - you’re new, and I know that not everyone on the ship - um - well -”  The visor flared with embarrassment.  “That is, it’s not always easy to settle in, and I thought you might be feeling kind of… lonely?”

Prowl loved it when an asset dropped right into his lap.

He smiled - the pretty smile, the one he’d memorised over the years - and ducked his head in endearing embarrassment.  “You’re not wrong, actually.  Want to come in?”

And Tailgate practically scampered in, as Prowl closed the door behind him.


	4. The Continued Adventures of Agent Q - More Spy!Quark AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, in a world where Quark was rescued from Grindcore and ended up joining Spec Ops - what about Brainstorm? Our favourite mad weapons scientist knows how rare it is to get a second chance, and this time, he's not about to let the mech he loves be taken away from him. Even if that means dealing with some baffling and potentially dangerous technology. Like Prowl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by the following anonymous ask: "I can't help imagining Brainstorm after finding out Quark is alive, he's so happy he feels like crying but then realizes Quark works for Prowl as a spy and keeps thinking of endless scenarios where Quark could get hurt/die. Brainstorm practically begs Quark to leave the Spec Ops but the microscope refuses because he doesn't want to stop fighting just yet or leave his spy family behind."

Prowl caught Brainstorm by the shoulders.  “ _Brainstorm._ It’s not that I don’t appreciate the new tech, but _you must slow your roll.”_

“But this is perfect for Qu - for Spec Ops!  It’s an invulnerability device, you can’t tell me you don’t want one of those!”

“It’s a bubble.  It’s a giant, armour-clad, phase-shifting _bubble_.”

“Phase- _transient,_ I think you’ll find.  And it’s completely impenetrable!  An agent inside one of these can’t be touched by anything!”

“Yeeeeessss… and they also can’t manouevre.  Or fire a weapon.  Or, you know, _move._ If I wrap one of my operatives up in this, they wouldn’t be able to do their job at all.”  

“Well, now that you mention…”

Prowl dropped his hands to his sides, and only held onto Brainstorm with his gaze - but that grip was almost harder to break.  “Brainstorm.  You can’t wrap Quark in a literal bubble to stop him getting hurt.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand!”

“Wouldn’t you?”

Brainstorm wilted.  “I almost lost him in Grindcore, Prowl.  And now he won’t listen to me, he won’t let me even try to protect him, and I can’t…”  Those yellow optics were huge, pleading.  “If I can’t get Quark to see reason, maybe I can at least make you an offer that’s worth more than his service in the field.  I will promise you whatever you want - _whatever_ you want.  Weapons?  Armour?  Surveillance tech?  Interrogation tools?  I won’t ask any questions, I don’t want to know.  All I ask is that you keep him safe.  Keep him on, if that’s what he really wants, let him sit at a terminal and give instructions down a comm line, make him an analyst, just -”  He took in a deep ventilation, and let it out slowly.  “When there’s danger?   _Leave him out of it.”_

Prowl’s optics widened, as if he’d just heard an echo from very, very far away.  The corners of his mouth spasmed, and his expression crumpled for the briefest second, until he pulled himself together and that cool, blank look was back in place.  “I’ll do what I can,” he said, then lowered his voice and added urgently, “I’ll do _everything_ I can.”


	5. The "Visages" (Not-So-Wet) T-Shirt Contest - Still More Everybody Lives! AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one outside of Spec Ops knows what dark deeds are plotted, what terrible things done, on the nights when Mirage turns "Visages" over to a private event open only to the Autobot intelligence service. No spy may speak of what goes on there, and no one else has ever successfully made it inside.
> 
> But Rodimus isn't going to let a little thing like almost certain doom stop him from trying to unlock Spec Ops' secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place in the "Everybody Lives" 'verse (i.e., Quark survives Grindcore and becomes a Spec Ops agent, and Dominus and Skids also survive their canon deaths).
> 
> This particular chapter was inspired by Dozusumbrella from start to finish. They created this amazing picture here: http://dozusumbrella.tumblr.com/post/149744272407/i-have-never-drawn-so-many-robots-in-my-entire
> 
> Dozusumbrella was also awesome enough to bat ideas back and forth with me about the scenario in the picture; most of what follows comes from their ask: "The Spec Ops social event takes place at Visages or at least it's supposed too, basically no one is allowed in Mirage's bar unless your an agent, everyone on the Lost Light is suspicious because no one knows what Prowl and his spies are all gathering for, Dominus doesn't tell Rewind, Quark refuses to tell Brainstorm, everyone thinks the spies are plotting something. But nope. It's just a t-shirt party. Rodimus tries to sneak in."
> 
> So, Dozusumbrella, this one is totally for you. :)

“Raj!” Quark calls across the room.  “The proximity sensors I set just went off.  I do believe you have a co-captain infestation in your ceiling.”

Mirage laughs and sets down a delicate flute of gently bubbling engex.  “I’ll go.  Skids?”

Skids, who’s got one arm tight around Quark and the other slung affectionately around Getaway’s neck, pauses in his efforts to try and drink from the cube in his hand without letting go of either of his fellow agents (he’s already managed to get engex on his “If Found, Return To Boss” t-shirt, all over his hand, and in Getaway’s audial, somehow), and cocks his head to listen.  After a moment, he points to a specific quadrant of the ceiling.  “He’s in the port ventilation shaft, about two levels up.”

“Help yourselves to another round while I’m gone, darlings,” Mirage says over his shoulder, skirting around Prowl (who’s lounging by the door with a mug of coffee at his elbow, reading) and patting Jazz’s shoulder companionably as he passes.  Jazz, resplendent in his “I Made These Shirts” shirt, glances up from his intense conversation with a beast-mode Dominus long enough to shoot Mirage a grin.

***

Rodimus lets out what he likes to think is a powerful, captain-ly yell of surprise, but, if he’s honest, is really more of a shriek.

Mirage looks entirely too relaxed for someone who just popped into visibility in the middle of an empty ventilation shaft two inches away from Rodimus’s face.  The spy is lying on his stomach with his feet casually dangling in the air, and his hands tucked up under his chin.  “Captain.”

“Ah - Mirage.”

“Are you lost?  It’s terribly easy to lose your way in the ventilation system.  Perhaps you were trying to get back to the bridge?  I believe the last turn on your right will get you there.”

“I - I was -”

“Because I do hope you weren’t trying to gain access to a _private_ venue, after you already gave me permission to close “Visages” for an event this evening.  Captain.”

“Look, Mirage.  As the captain, I think I have the right to know what plans Prowl is hatching on my ship, right under my nose.”

“Mmmm, I do apologise, but the Autobot second-in-command still outranks you, even on the _Lost Light_.  Last turn on the right, remember.  And have a pleasant evening.”

“Mirage - wait.  At least tell me why you’re wearing a shirt that says ‘I Helped Make These Shirts’.”

Mirage presses a finger to his lips, winks, and vanishes.


End file.
